affirmation: fuck you ed.
mood: hopeful & angry.
gratitude: i am grateful for second, third, fourth...chances.
five favorite breakfast foods.
a) french toast hands down.
b) cereal with bananas.
c) blueberry anything, muffins, pancakes, bagels, etc.
d) pancakes with bananas, walnuts, and syrup.
e) granola and greek yogurt.
"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful."
just finished eating my breakfast and looking to keep myself occupied so i dont jump up and run to the bathroom. i'm feeling hopeful today though...its still early so i dont want to jinx myself, but i feel good...and very angry at the same time...angry at ed/ana/mia, angry for being angry, angry at myself, angry at the snow...haha, but i'm in a good albeit anxiety-ridden anger kind of good mood...atleast its still a good mood and thats all i'm after.
Showing posts with label hopeful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hopeful. Show all posts
25.2.10
16.2.10
i'm movin on.
affirmation: food is medicine for my body.
mood: happy & hungry.
gratitude: i am grateful for all my wonderful friends!
five favorite fruits:
1\ watermelon
2\papaya
3\mango
4\cherries
5\ strawberries
despite depression nagging me this morning, i have had a wonderful ed free day! had a coffee break this morning, took a hot shower, read some of eat pray love, talked to my parents on the phone, had a random collection of food for lunch while watching my favorite reality show (cant believe that im into a reality show haha), went to classes, had breakfast for dinner...and...MY SISTER IS BACK!!! i am so happy that she's finally home. the apt feels so much brighter already. i can feel some hope seeping back into my veins after a long cold month alone <3
valentine's day ended nicely too actually. i ended up going out and buying myself a small, keyword small here, heart shaped box of chocolates and one for my sister, rented a romantic comedy, sang while i made myself a fresh salad, colored pasta, and chicken with sauce for dinner...by candlelight. it was nice...turned into a romantic comedy marathon, watched how to lose a guy in ten days afterwords...oh i actually love valentines day...dont tell anyone though haha.
busy week ahead of me though...i hope that i can keep this good mood going for awhile :)
mood: happy & hungry.
gratitude: i am grateful for all my wonderful friends!
five favorite fruits:
1\ watermelon
2\papaya
3\mango
4\cherries
5\ strawberries
despite depression nagging me this morning, i have had a wonderful ed free day! had a coffee break this morning, took a hot shower, read some of eat pray love, talked to my parents on the phone, had a random collection of food for lunch while watching my favorite reality show (cant believe that im into a reality show haha), went to classes, had breakfast for dinner...and...MY SISTER IS BACK!!! i am so happy that she's finally home. the apt feels so much brighter already. i can feel some hope seeping back into my veins after a long cold month alone <3
valentine's day ended nicely too actually. i ended up going out and buying myself a small, keyword small here, heart shaped box of chocolates and one for my sister, rented a romantic comedy, sang while i made myself a fresh salad, colored pasta, and chicken with sauce for dinner...by candlelight. it was nice...turned into a romantic comedy marathon, watched how to lose a guy in ten days afterwords...oh i actually love valentines day...dont tell anyone though haha.
busy week ahead of me though...i hope that i can keep this good mood going for awhile :)
10.2.10
snow days and hot chocolate.
affirmation: i am a child of the universe.
mood: comfy.
gratitude: i am grateful to have such a resilient body.
things i love about the snow:
1] how it looks like glitter in the light of the street lamps.
2] how much quieter it is outside.
3] how it makes the world look like a fairytale.
4] snow angels.
5] snow days!
today has been a good productive day actually. all my classes were cancelled so i had an extended coffee hour this morning before sitting down to start the paper i have been stressin out over for the past week. mmmm the coffee was delicious :)
i have had two days symptom free and i am so proud of myself. {i'm not going to keep count tho so if i slip i dont fall} its been such an incredible struggle tho...my body had gotten used to getting rid of everything after id eaten it...sooooo...yeah about that...yesterday i went for a walk to keep myself out of the bathroom even tho i was in so much pain. it helped tho to get some cool crisp winter air...and some pepto haha right now i'm still feeling really really full from dinner so i'm distracting myself by blogging...blog blog blog, blah blah blah. i did throw myself a mini dinner party tonight and made one of my favorite fancy meals for myself. it was wonderful...yes i'm feeling guilty for letting myself enjoy a meal and for being mindful and present for a meal...it was a new sensation...but it was WONDERFUL, and balanced and followed my meal plan. its ok...its better than ok.
today was a good day, yesterday was a good day. nothing spectacular happened...well i didnt use symptoms which is pretty spectacular! i need to remember these good feelings to help me get through these awful times.
on another good note...tomorrow is...another...SNOW DAY
i think i'll make some hot chocolate <3
mood: comfy.
gratitude: i am grateful to have such a resilient body.
things i love about the snow:
1] how it looks like glitter in the light of the street lamps.
2] how much quieter it is outside.
3] how it makes the world look like a fairytale.
4] snow angels.
5] snow days!
today has been a good productive day actually. all my classes were cancelled so i had an extended coffee hour this morning before sitting down to start the paper i have been stressin out over for the past week. mmmm the coffee was delicious :)
i have had two days symptom free and i am so proud of myself. {i'm not going to keep count tho so if i slip i dont fall} its been such an incredible struggle tho...my body had gotten used to getting rid of everything after id eaten it...sooooo...yeah about that...yesterday i went for a walk to keep myself out of the bathroom even tho i was in so much pain. it helped tho to get some cool crisp winter air...and some pepto haha right now i'm still feeling really really full from dinner so i'm distracting myself by blogging...blog blog blog, blah blah blah. i did throw myself a mini dinner party tonight and made one of my favorite fancy meals for myself. it was wonderful...yes i'm feeling guilty for letting myself enjoy a meal and for being mindful and present for a meal...it was a new sensation...but it was WONDERFUL, and balanced and followed my meal plan. its ok...its better than ok.
today was a good day, yesterday was a good day. nothing spectacular happened...well i didnt use symptoms which is pretty spectacular! i need to remember these good feelings to help me get through these awful times.
on another good note...tomorrow is...another...SNOW DAY
i think i'll make some hot chocolate <3
9.2.10
healthy day.
affirmation: i am learning to feed and care for my body.
mood: hopeful & determined
gratitude: i am grateful for my family who is so supportive & understanding.
what can i do instead of bingeing and purging (b/p):
1. work on my paper
2. knit and watch tv
3. blog
4. go for a "mindful" walk
5. call a friend
yesterday was "another healthy day" which is when you suspend all ed behaviors for just one day...unfortunately i wasn't able to do that...yesterday. today i have made the commitment to have one ed free day. there is less pressure than thinking, "i will never use my ed behaviors again." recovery is a slippery slope and i am taking it minute by minute, one meal at a time. i'm breaking out the meal plan again, following my exchanges and promising myself to eat one meal following my meal plan, then saying to myself, "i will not purge for 30 min, then 30 min more," until the urge has passed. so far this is working. i know its early in the day, but i'm not thinking about later, i'm thinking about now.
mood: hopeful & determined
gratitude: i am grateful for my family who is so supportive & understanding.
what can i do instead of bingeing and purging (b/p):
1. work on my paper
2. knit and watch tv
3. blog
4. go for a "mindful" walk
5. call a friend
yesterday was "another healthy day" which is when you suspend all ed behaviors for just one day...unfortunately i wasn't able to do that...yesterday. today i have made the commitment to have one ed free day. there is less pressure than thinking, "i will never use my ed behaviors again." recovery is a slippery slope and i am taking it minute by minute, one meal at a time. i'm breaking out the meal plan again, following my exchanges and promising myself to eat one meal following my meal plan, then saying to myself, "i will not purge for 30 min, then 30 min more," until the urge has passed. so far this is working. i know its early in the day, but i'm not thinking about later, i'm thinking about now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
